What Insecurities Do You Have That Were Developed During Your Childhood?
Question by Zappa Fan: What insecurities do you have that were developed during your childhood?
Describe how they continue to play themselves out in your life. Be as specific as you can.
Describe in detail what happened to you to cause these insecurities.
Best answer:
Answer by Mitch3ll
Trusting
Betrayed by close friends, matters of the heart. people i trust backstabbing me.
Being a Pessimistic
Games and laughter were few to me, but treasured like God. And the dark days i’ve been through.
Negative thoughts
It’s hard to think Positively, cause most of the happenings in my Life are and were full of Negativity. So i got “used” to it.
Jealousy
We all have them don’t we?
Paranoia
Was neglected as a child. Grew up in a torn apart family. My father was an abuser.
Bitter
Everything i’ve written on here and to add one last, is cause i didn’t had any true or loyal friends. to this day.
I didn’t had a good childhood. It was like a nightmare come true.
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Fear of rejection rather not say what happened,even now on answers i have only connected with someone first about 2 times i dont try to connect first wih people in case they say no.
i was unplanned and my dad made sure i knew i was unplanned.Not nice finding out your dad resented you when a child.
Oh trust issues I could never trust anyone so I became a loner and now I have hard time getting friend
That i’m not smart.
As a result I always feel that I have to proove myself to others and that my abilities are always being brought into question.
Kind of makes me unessecarily defenssive
My parents grew abusive as I grew older, causing me to move out of my house when I was 16. As a result of what I faced in my home, I found myself unable to open up with anyone, unable to trust anyone, and constantly lying to people. It took time, but I eventually had support and started to be able to confide in a select few people. Still today though, I find myself not trusting anyone completely. I see myself subconsciously pushing people away because I fear putting my trust into them. I’ve lost a few friendships and relationships because of this, and I’m still struggling today.
I really hate doctors and dentists. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals for the first 13 years of my life. In fact the first 30 months of my life were spent in a hospital. I had three major surgeries by the age of 13 the first one at the age of 4 months. But the worse thing that’s came out of that was my bodies inability to deal with anesthesia so that some times I was in pain when I shouldn’t have been. That rolled over into the field of dentistry and I have really crappy teeth because of a fear of the pain since Novocaine does not work for me. I will go to the doctor because of my experinces I know that my life depends on it but I really really hate it.
I feel ugly no matter how many people tell me I’m pretty. I can find any little imperfection about myself and turn it into a huge deal…
I get hit on and complimented frequently… I always question it or assume someone has an ulterior motive.
Sounds pretty ridiculous now that I’m actually reading this, but its true.
I was made fun of throughout school because I had a small mole on my face and a few freckles … No more mole or freckles now, but that really messed with my self esteem.
I have no confidence because I wasn’t really actively engaged in anything and I was a social reject in school.
Here’s an interesting link for ya: http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/person/erikson.html
I often battle the feeling of not belonging. It started when I was told at five years old I was adopted at birth. Since then, I have never really fit in with any group. I never felt I belonged anywhere. This is at least part of why I used to get drunk all the time. At least when I was drunk I didn’t really care if I fit in or not.
I also have my ex-husband to thank for my sense of feeling not beautiful enough. Although I have made great strides in this area. He used to complain about my looks, and make me feel inferior. It was only through therapy that I came to realize it was his insecurities and nothing to do with me, that made him treat me that way.
I am now with someone who thinks I am beautiful, and tells me so everyday.
Emotionally Needy- my mother was never the motherly type she likes to party more.
Afraid of the dark- I was raped when I was nine in a dark place
Always wanting to shop- Never had much when I was younger
My husband has to call me at least like three times a day to make sure I’m alright I cannot be in the dark until after I’m asleep and if I wake up in the dark I freak big time I always like to buy the newest clothes shoes purses cars houses cell phones things like that I have a reign on that though
I was extremely shy as an adolescent because I had very crooked teeth until I got braces in the 7th grade. I was teased a lot and that made me withdraw somewhat from engaging in conversation or making new friends I was shy even after my braces came off and I remain somewhat shy to this day in certain circumstances.
Well I still am a “child” I guess you could say, I’m 11. But here’s what I’ve been going through.
Trusting
– Friends turning friends against me
Weight
– I really don’t like my weight, no matter what anyone says
Prettiness
– I will never think I’m pretty
Feeling like Your Not Good Enough
– I feel as though no guy will ever like me
Pessimistic
– I’m always thinking the worst of things
Paranoia
– I worry about everything
Those are only a few, but I don’t want to keep going.
My only fear is being alone! When I was a year old back in the fifties, the state of Indiana threw me into a foster home because my father (I use that word loosely) had a major drug problem, and my so called mom was an alcoholic! Their addictions were more important than taking care of me! Needless to say I went through hell in the foster home! Mental and sexual abuse!!!!!!!!!
I was going to kill myself when I was a teen (long story) because I felt like I could trust nobody! This amazing song with words that seemed like were written for me called “Help” stopped me from killing myself as it was playing on my am radio.
I don’t recall calling a friend and telling him I was going to kill myself, but by the time that song quit playing, the police had arrived! (another long story)
To this day I do not trust any grown person, because I am tired of trying to figure out who is lying and who is not! Music and writing poems is my way of controlling my mixed emotions and my way out of this Fu#cked up world, filled with liars and thieves!
I have my wife now, along with my poetry and music! I only worry about my wife leaving me, because the thoughts that I write down on paper , and the music will never hurt me, by leaving me alone!
I have a terrible fear of losing loved ones, probably because it’s happened so many times to Me. I also have a pretty good fear of drowning because of something I saw happen when I was 9. I often wonder though why I don’t have some other fears. When I was 7 i saw a tornado destroy most of a town but now instead of being scared of storms I’m enthralled by them. It’s funny the different tracks Your mind takes in response to powerful childhood stimuli.
Trusting- I trust know one because of I was abused . There is only one person I trust completely
Insecure- I often am really hard on myself b/c of my parents told me I would never amount to anything
Low self esteem- B/c I was and still am often told how ugly I am
eating issues – constantly told I am fat
Suicidal thoughts – B/c of a past I never fully let go of.
I’m going to just not yet there’s lose ends I have to take care of
I could go on for days>……..
Trust, I have a hard time trusting a lot of people. Through my life I was always told something then it turned out to usually be a lie or some
fabricated fairy tale. I’m what most people would call a doormat, I let others walk all over me. I let friends do it family, everyone. It was sickening, I was told by people who said I could trust them, but instead most of the time I got used.
I’ll never be good enough. I will let someone down. To my father I wasn’t perfect, I didn’t have 20/20 vision, I wasn’t a genius. I wasn’t what he expected me to be, I wasn’t perfect. He could never accept me for who I was, so I tried to be everything. I tried to bring home the straight a’s. I tried to be the perfect daughter. It didn’t matter, I would never be good enough to meet his expectations. My mother was content with me trying, but my father wasn’t. I was his pride and joy when I did something good, but if I did something bad I heard “God is just punishing you” or “Can’t you do anything right?”. He made me feel, that if I wasn’t perfect, I was dirt. To this day, I still constantly apologize for everything. I’m 18 now almost 19 and he’s no longer in my life, but because of the things he said to me, I’m basically walking on eggshells wherever I go. I’m sick of it. I’m trying to work on it, day by day, but it still stays with me.
MY SISTERS USE TO CALL ME UGLY, FAT, AND WOULD SAY I HAD A PIG NOSE. SO FOR A LONG TIME I THOUGHT I WAS JUST THE UGLIEST THING THAT WALKED THE EARTH. THEY WOULD SAY IT ALL THE TIME AND I STILL HATE MY NOSE ITS VERY TURNED UP AND ROUND. I CONSTANTLY WAS GOING ON DIETS AND EMBARRASED OF MY BODY. I DONT REALLY THINK IM FAT OR UGLY ANYMORE. WE’VE ALL GROWN UP AND THEY DONT SAY ANYTHING RUDE ANYMORE BUT ALOT OF TIMES WHEN THEY COMPLIMENT ME I JUST DONT FEEL I BELIEVE THEM CUZ I STILL LOOK THE SAME WITH ALL THE SAME FEATURES JUST A BIT THINNER AND OLDER. SO WHY IS IT IM PRETTY ALL OF A SUDDEN? THEY JUST DONT WANT TO SEEM CHILDISH ANYMORE IN MY OPINION.
abandonment/trust issues.
father ran out at young age and mom never gave any attention to her kids. so i have a hard time trusting that people are my friends, that my bf wont up and leave me, and that i am worth any ones time
great question i think mine is co dependency i never realized how i lived my life dating diffrent men never staying in a relationship had to do with my fear of men always walking out of my life my dad left when i was 15 what made it difficult was he was a huge part of my life the all american family to find out it was all alie when he divorced my mom he divorced us my husband passed away when i was 29 and he was 30 both of my brothers who i was very close have gone to prison and i realized i was not leeting relationships work as soon as things got a little rough i left thinking i will leave before he does it has taken me 38 years to realize how much pain it caused
Being short, the thing is I’m not short. I’d just hate to be short. My mom really scared me a lot when I was little by telling me I was a midget, from the time I was about four to the time I was five. Just to see me get scared. Then whenever we watched Freaks she told me those were my real parents. Those and other times really stuck in my head. My parents really had fun scaring their kids. Like putting crazy looking masks on and popping out or chasing us. I hate watching horror films because of them. Anyways, now I’m almost taller than my parents. I think as I’m getting older it’s going away, but back then that was some scary stuff that stuck with me for years.
i think i have many flaws
i hate my boobs!
they’re way too small!
i barely fit in a 30A
it’s not fare
i’m as skinny as a twig!
i have the best abbs in my school tho! 🙂
i have no muscle (except for my abbs)
i’m 13 and only 4’7″
ha!
i cannot trust men easily
my father was verbally and emotionally abusive. we moved across the country for his job and 2 weeks later he abandoned us. i had contact with him for a few years and i wanted to do everything i could to please him. he is now married and he always compared me to my same age step sister who had the same name as me. it made me feel inferior and like i could do nothing. and at his wedding my 60 year old uncle touched me in inappropriate ways. and my 56 year old uncle tried to rape me.
i had always been a nervous child. when my father abandoned me, i struggled through an anxiety disorder. i was only 11, but i could not let my mother out of my sight and i could not maintain relationships with anyone. i was so nervous to go to school and that my mother would leave me there that i vomited every single morning. only heavy duty medication got me through that. the first time i got drunk i was 12, and i secretly struggled with alcohol, substance abuse, and self mutilation until i was 14.
i do not drink anymore, and i do not get high, but every few months i become depressed and start cutting again. also, i can never allow myself to be alone in a room or car with a man. i cannot help it, it just terrifies the crap out of me. i struggle to trust anyone, and only have 2 people close enough to truly know me. i have severe trust issues with new people i am only 16, so hopefully, with a little faith, that will someday change.
i was sexually abuse by my uncle at 12.
alot of people in my family were emotionally/verbaly abusive.
so screw family. and i trust very few.
my mom left when i was 16 and took my sis, and left me w my dad.
who later left when i was 18. leavin me to live with the most evil grandma ever. so im not family oriented. at all.
ive always giver my all when it comes to dating and likin some1, and i get shit in return. so screw that too.
oh, wow
now im depress again.
pretty much my childhood sucked and even tho im hella strong now, im still very cautious and dont trust people, and feel like people are goin to abandon me and forget about me.
Self esteem- I never felt as good as others or as pretty or as rich
Intimacy- Mommy and Daddy never hugged, kissed, or used the words “I love you” =[
Well i have a lot of issues…. I’ve been abuse in every way by people i held close. Mostly my mom. She’s no alcoholic druggie, in fact she’s perfectly fine besides the fact that she feels that she most be in control of her (8) children’s lives at ALL times. This led to my phobia of being “caged” as i call it. She wouldn’t let us leave the house for weeks because she didn’t want people to know us. Beside from school, i had no social life. Now it’s had for me to meet new friends.
Also, in her quest for controlling us she brought on my phobia of men. She used to tell us (the girls) that if she ever heard or saw us with any guy she’d beat the hell out of us. Which it did happen and she kept hr word on it when some one told her they heard me on the phone with a guy one time. Now i’m afraid of being around men and have problems committing.
Also, i have insecurities about my performance. She felt nothing was ever good enough so i struggled for years to do my best but she never thought it was good enough so finally i stopped trying. Now i have issues with doing work.
Uh, also, there was this guys that worked for my dad as the gardener. Him and my dad got on really well and he was also so nice to me. well, i was walking to the beach one day and he stopped and asked me if i wanted a lift. (I was 12) and i thought he was safe. Shortly after i got in he started rubbing my legs and then asked me to take off my pants. Now i’m utterly terrified of getting into cars with particularly men.
There are other insecurities about me but i don’t feel like typing much…
Hoped i helped in some way.