How Can I Help My Spouse With His Gambling Addiction Without Him Getting Mad?
Question by Diana: how can i help my spouse with his gambling addiction without him getting mad?
I take care of his two daughters, my son, and we have one son together and he does not allow me to work. He makes good money, but gambles it all away. I’m stressed out about the situation, and it’s starting to take a toll on our relationship. I get blamed for being “bad luck”
Best answer:
Answer by jad62
I’d check out “gamblers anonymous” for some advice in this.
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3 Responses to How Can I Help My Spouse With His Gambling Addiction Without Him Getting Mad?
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Well, most addictions can’t be cured without a MAJOR change. Unfortunately, that might involve the ending of the relationship. If you know that his behavior is bad for everyone involved, then you can make the choice to not allow it.
I would give him an ultimatum: He gets help, or it’s over.
I think at this stage it’s tough to accept but it might be out of your hands. He has to get professional help. You can’t really tell an alcoholic to stop drinking just like you can’t tell a gambler to stop gambling.If he refuses to get him then tell him that you refuse to play his games anymore and that you have children to care for. You should get a job and take matters into your own hands, that way you don’t have to worry about his stable yet not guranteed income.
I am a compulsive gambler in recovery and have a family member who still gambles so I understand what you are going through. The group you need to contact is Gam-Anon 708-802-0105 in Illnois. They are the support group for family and friends of problem gamblers.
I don’t know what you know about compulsive gambling. The Chicago Gamblers Anonymous website provides some literature on the disease. Gambling Recovery Ministries http://www.grmumc.org has an excellent profile of the different types of problem gamblers and good background information about the disease.
It is an illness not much like alcoholism or drug addiction. The problem gambler is driven by an intense desire to gamble. Research shows that the best rate of recovery comes from attending Gamblers Anonymous and therapy for compulsive gambling. It is very important to get a counselor trained in dealing with gambling addiction. I know Indiana offers free counseling . You can call the hotline number on your husband’s player card , the literature he gets from the casino, or something from the lottery. They will refer your to Gamblers Anonymous and Gam- Anon.
Gam-Anon will also teach you ways to protect your family assets. The people there know what you are going through because they have been there.
Please understand the disease affects rational thinking. I describe the thinking as having the angel vs. the devil on your shoulders. And the devil drowning out what the angel or rational thinking tells you what to do. The mood swings of my family member who still gambles drives me up a wall. I feel I am constantly walking on eggshells.
Give Gam-Anon a call 708-802-0105 Visit http://www.gachicago.org for Gamblers Anonymous info and literature. Get the problem gambling hotline number off his player’s card or a a store that sells lottery tickets for counseling.